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“Waste, Gentleman!” – parody adaptation by the Marsh Relatives of Sam Ryder&#39s Eurovision smashing “Space Man”



Deep in our hearts, I feel we all know that what we’ve been ready all our life is a song about sanitation and h2o regulation in England and Wales. So this is it.

This is our parody of the wonderful music “SPACE MAN” that was a strike for the charismatic Sam Ryder and really nearly acquired the United kingdom their very first Eurovision Music Contest victory of new occasions when he done it in Turin in 2022 (and it attributes on his album “There’s Very little But Place, Man!”). The song’s co-written with Amy Wadge and Max Wolfgang. It’s a business favorite in the spouse and children and was played hundreds of occasions on our summertime getaway playlist…as his followers from TikTok know, the man exudes positivity and has an extraordinary range. Whereas the initial is uplifting and soaring, we’ve dived down to a new reduced to deal with a issue that has been all around the information this summer season and justifies ongoing consideration: the dire conduct of drinking water companies intentionally abusing storm overflow regulations to offload hundreds of tons of sewage into our rivers, lakes, and seas (together with the Channel, around us).

If you want to uncover out a little bit about that, then check out this report: isles/information/explainers-62631320. It notes the present-day pollution warnings for dozens of seashores, and the nationwide Environment Agency’s figure (in all probability an underestimate by some margin) that “raw sewage was pumped into rivers and seas about 375,000 instances in 2021.” The organisation that is meant to regulate all of this, OfWat, has released circumstances but is evidently not on top rated of the challenge.

We also owe a shout-out to pop star and campaigner Feargal Sharkey for preventing tough to draw awareness to the situation of pollution (see interview listed here esp. if you’re a supporter of 80s tunes: isles/politics/features/uk-rivers-air pollution-feargal-sharkey-ecosystem-job interview-20111/).

We (utilised to) swim domestically in beach locations at Seasalter, Margate, and Broadstairs each individual year. We wander the puppies on the Saxon Shore Way and alongside Whitstable and Tankerton seafronts, and like paying out time at Faversham Creek and Oare and along the Stour River, and pay a visit to sites at Chatham, Deptford, Sheppey, and beyond. There’s a great deal of difficulties in the environment at the instant, but polluting our own marine and riverine ecosystems and detrimental biodiversity should really not be a person of them…and we’re very sure we’re not the only ones dwelling close to this kind of episodes of dumping waste.

Thanks as ever to the people who aid our musical antics as a result of Patreon (exactly where you can see extras like out-normally takes and podcasts):

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Lyrics to Squander, Person!

If I was an aquanaut, probably floating unaware
And a damaged fifty percent of someone’s turd was churning spherical down there
I would get a scent of, like, rotten food or even worse
I would be fuming, and I’d want it to disperse

If I was an aquanaut, I might have a shut-up watch
What circles spherical the bowl you do not want coming back again to you!
Sewage floating previous me, to flood riverbeds and shores
It is our effluent, and they are discharging some much more

They’re dumping waste, man!
Dumping waste, man!
The stats are down on cleanliness
Have to have some a lot more controls
Inordinate waste, gentleman
And the corporations know

If I labored for OfWat, I might find extra oversight
My regulation procedure would demand for spewing shite
I’d be up there wondering ‘bout what they should be fined
Not struggling with a hose ban, with air pollution on my thoughts

They’re dumping waste, guy!
Dumping waste, male!
From Plymouth Seem to Dungeness
See brown slicks and shoals
There is nothing at all but waste, person
It is a harmful move

Corporations maintain letting us down
Monopoly products and services aren’t doing the job out
Not performing out
It’s coming out!

They’re dumping squander, gentleman!
Pumping squander, gentleman!
It is surging down your watercourse
Harmful toxins taking keep
Inordinate waste, male, no
Oh, it is in the improper area, guy
Very little but, nothing but, very little but waste, person
Nothing at all but, absolutely nothing but, nothing but squander, man

The sewage spherical the sea’s the worst
It’s something to behold
It is a shame, man
No-1 would like overflow


Many thanks, as ever, to all our supporters on Patreon, and we’ve listed our Howlers (the best classification) beneath in recognition!

Andy Riches
Carol Leff
Cliff Hope
Dave Lee
David Patrao
Derrick Brown
Michael & Emily Guadagno
Uncle Mike




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